Once in my grade school years, one of my only friends was having a birthday party. There’s only one thing I specifically remember at this party: I wasn’t invited. I measured the time we spent together, weighed the words we exchanged, and the promises we had given. Everything I had done warranted an invitation but yet there wasn’t one. Then it hit me maybe I hadn’t done everything. I started to consider that maybe somewhere along the line I had been a bad friend to her. Somehow I had fallen short, and not fulfilled her wishes.
So like any faithful companion, I pursued my dear friend with the goal of gaining an invitation. In my mind, I had a plan but my heart was not prepared for what she would have to say.
“Sam, you were purposefully not invited. I do not want you to come. There will be horses there, and you’ll probably be scare of them.”
I had never seen a horse up close in my life. I would have loved it! It had sincerely been a long-awaited dream of mine and I would have loved to have shared that dream with one of my closest friends. However at the end of the day, when all was said and done, I had been uninvited. Sadly, this was the first of many times, I would have to deal with these feelings.
Realizing I was same sex attracted involved even deeper feelings of being uninvited. Repeatedly, I elevated my sin above everyone else leading to intense feelings of rejection, within the body of Christ. Often I would read 1 Corinthians 6:9, a verse that blatantly outlaws the practice of homosexuality and loop myself into this condemnation. I believed my same sex attraction negated my fellowship with Christ, and I had no right call myself a Christian, and Satan encouraged and promoted this lie. Unlike my friend’s birthday invitation, I felt as if I had done nothing to warrant an invitation. All my bad deeds, in fact said the opposite that I deserved to be on the outside of a relationship with Christ. In a world where Christ never died on the cross for our sins, this train of thinking would make sense. Fortunately, we live in a reality where Christ did die for us, so that unrighteous may be made righteous according to 2 Cor. 5:21 meaning in Christ my same-sex attraction did not and does condemn me. The blood of Christ invites murderers, thieves, adulterers, pornography actors and watchers, and prostitutes into one family. When it comes to being invited to cross, it’s not about what you’ve done, but what’s been done for you. Christ is not searching for excuses not to invite you ,but made the perfect excuse to invite you into a relationship with him.