WHEN LIFE BREAKS: Day 2 devotional

Day 2: When Life breaks/Suffering

Philippians1:21“For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain”

Often, I reflect on all the times I have fought in my life; whether it was just surviving a night of child abuse or battling severe suicidal thoughts. The goal was always to survive. As a result, I’ve become the type of person that values life. I consider every moment to be God-given and deeply cherished. Often I’m tempted to live life to the fullest up to “my” standards. I will think things like if God truly wanted me to cherish the time he’s given me, he would allow a same sex relationship. He wouldn’t mind sex before marriage or any expression of love. Life is short . Time matters. My happiness matters. Our lives are God’s gift to us so why not use every second to fulfill my desires? Shouldn’t I want the things that are going to make me happy?

Later in my walk with Christ, I learned that living my life to the fullest up my standards was not God’s intent. According to Philippians 1:21 “To live is Christ”. What does that mean? Can’t I pursue the things I want and worship Christ as well? There are a slew of gay identifying persons that also identify as Christian, and these individuals are marrying, adopting, and living their lives to the fullest. BUT are these things really living life to the fullest or are these things that we’ve identified that will lead to a full life? Can you truly say you are living in Christ if your life outside of church is full with things that oppose Him?

In yesterday’s devotional, we meditated on the aspect of suffering. A lot of times in the Christian walk, suffering derives from continuous self-denial, “a death” to the things we desire. Why? Why would I after fighting for years and years for life strive for death? Because to die is gain. Every day, that I die to the chance of having a same sex relationship is a day that I gain more time, more chances, more intimacy, and more fellowship in my walk with Christ. Every moment I spend with Christ is a moment He spends teaching me in my struggle with same sex attraction .

Often in this pleasure driven world, we find ourselves seeking out what will meet our right now external needs. Our minds are so set on the flesh that we forget our eternal needs. Christ is our eternal need and there is no external want that is ever going to fulfill that need. Yes, I could take on a wife, but ultimately, she will fail to fulfill what I’m ultimately looking for in Jesus .

Dear Jesus,

Help us die to ourselves daily and to seek out more of you. Give us the desire to set at your feet, and to give all of our wants and desires to you.


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